Focus on Changing Me

Independent means to be out of someone else's control. A free thinker.
I've always been a dreamer, a person who jotted down ideas outside the realm of reality. In fact, when I was about my daughters age I dreamed of being an astronaut. That's about as far away from my real life as I could get.
Don't get me wrong I loved my life, especially running around in my grandparents' backyard. But even then I didn't have a sense of me. I saw myself as a we because of my twin sister.
Yes, we're separate and unique, but we were a pair from the beginning (literally).
As I grew that closeness was a God send because we could help each other especially in tough times during high school and college.
Then when I got married, that shifted things. My we became us.
When my daughter was born one of the hardest things that happened was that I lost myself. I lost doing things I loved, time with my family...and just didn't feel comfortable in my own skin.
Now the us morphed to include my child who was completely dependent on me. Because of that connection I lost more of my independence.
No longer could I only think of me. I had to also think about my daughter. From the point when we learned on Father's Day we were pregnant, I knew it would always be this way going forward.
From then many of our decisions relate to her. Where we bought a house, where she'd go to daycare and then school, etc.
However, lately I've decided to spark a little bit of independence. I decided to think about myself because I need to (and want to) lose weight.
As a mom and wife I need time for me. Taking time for me means I'm better for them. Sometimes I need something to call my own. I don't want to share, or give anyone cause to be jealous.
I just want my 30 minutes to exercise or hour to watch a tv show. In the space of 24 hours, I don't think that's too much to ask 🙂
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